Dr Civil Mills Speech at UNISA 2014
Hierdie man is “AMAZING”! Ek het hom so geniet gisteraand en sy skerp sin vir humor, nooit moet ek ooit weer kla nie, my liggaam werk ten volle!!!!!!! Hy het so mooi met Roald gepraat natuurlik deur sy kommunikasie toestel want hy kan nie praat nie! Locked in Syndrome is iets wat die medici maar eers ‘n klompie jare gelede van uitgevind het. Cival het twee boeke geskryf en julle kan dit bestel van sy webblad en daardeur hom help om homself te onderhou.
“God Bless this wonderful man!!”
A mother's poem for her special child
I am..............for mothers of Special Needs Children.
I am the little engine that did. When on my journey in life, my tracks led me to a mountain - a diagnosis of (Autism, CP, MR, ...) - I looked at it with defeat - thinking there was no way I could climb over it. I then pondered the obstacle before me, and I then said to myself over and over, "I think I can, I think I can...," then I slowly started climbing the mountain
saying to myself over and over, "I know I can, I know I can,...." and then I made it over that ominous diagnosis and continued my journey. I am the little engine that did.
I am more devoted than Noah's wife. I sometimes feel overwhelmed in my "houseboat" -- 365 days and 365 nights a year, constantly working with and teaching my child. But when the storms of isolation and monotony become most
unbearable, I do not jump ship. Instead I wait for the rainbow that is promised to come.
I am Xena. Real life warrior goddess of Autism. With my steel plated armor I can battle anyone who gets in the way of progress for my child. I can overcome the stares and ignorance of those without a disability in their
lives - and educate them as to why my child is the way he is, and why he does the things he does. With my sword of persistence, I can battle the schools to have them properly educate my child. Yes, I am Xena - and I am prepared for any battle that might come my way......
I am beautiful. I have hairy legs because I get no time alone in the bathroom, and bags under my eyes from staying up all night with my child.
The only exercise I get is the sprint from my house to my car - to take my child to therapy. Dressed up to me is, well - just that I had a moment to get dressed! They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder - and so even on the days when I don't feel very beautiful - I will know that I am........ because God is my beholder.
I am the Bionic Woman. With my bionic vision - I can see through the disability my child has, and see the beauty in his soul, the intelligence in his eyes --- when others can't. I have bionic hearing - I can look at my child when he smiles at me, and hear his voice say, "I Love You Mommy," ---
even though he can't talk. Yes, I am thankful to be Bionic.
I am Mary. A not so well known mother of a Special Needs child who was brought here to touch the souls of those around him, in a way that will forever change them. And it started with me. By teaching me things I would
never have known, by bringing me friendships I never would have had, and by opening my eyes as to what really matters in life. Things like the Joy of just living in the moment, the Peace of knowing that God is in control,
never losing Hope, and knowing an unconditional Love that words cannot express. Yes, I too am blessed by a special child, just like Mary.
I am Superwoman. I am able to leap over tall loads of laundry in a single bound, and run faster than a speeding bullet, to rescue my child from danger. Oh yes, without a doubt, I am Superwoman.
I am Moses. I was chosen to be the mother of a Special Needs Child. I may at times question whether I am the right "man" for the job ---but God will give me the Faith I need to lead my child to be the best he can be. And like Moses, God will give me the small Miracles here and there, needed to
accomplish my mission.
I am Stretch Armstrong - a mom that can be stretched beyond belief and still somehow return to normal. I can stretch limited funds to cover every treatment and therapy that insurance won't. I can stretch my patience as I
bounce from doctor to doctor in a quest to treat my child. I can stretch what time I have, and share it with my husband, my children, my church, and still have some leftover to help my friends. Yes, my name is Stretch. And I have the stretch-marks to prove it!
I am Rosa Parks. I refuse to move or waiver in what I believe is right for my child --simply because my view is the minority, not the majority. I refuse to believe "What can one mother do?" But instead, I will write, call, and rally to the government if I have to, and do whatever it takes to
prevent discrimination against my child and ensure that he gets the services he needs.
I am Hercules. The Greek god known for strength and courage. The heavy loads I must carry would make others crumble to the ground. The weight of Sorrow,
Fear at uncertainty of the future, Injustice at having no answers, and the Tears of despair, would alone possibly be too much, --- even for Hercules.
But then the Joy, Laughter, Smiles, and Pride, - at my child's
accomplishments, - balance the load to make it easy to bear.
I am touched by an Angel. An Angel who lives in a world of her own. And it's true. She lives in a world of innocence and purity. A world without hatred or deceit. A world where everyone is beautiful and where no-one is ugly. A
world where there is always enough time. A world where she goes to bed with no worries of tomorrow and wakes up with no regrets of the past. Yes, I most certainly am touched by an Angel, and in some ways, her world is better....
I am a true "Survivor" - the mom of a child, who has faced, is facing, and will face, --some of the most difficult challenges life has to offer. I am ready for the challenge and have God given endurance to last until the end, -- along with a sense of humor to cope with all the twists, turns, and
surprises along the way. Oh yes, I am a TRUE "Survivor" - and I don't need to win a million dollars to prove it!!!
I am a mom of a special needs child, all the above, and so much more.
Someday's I will want to be none of the above - and just be a typical mom with a typical child, doing typical things. On those days I will know it's okay to be angry, and to cry, and to lean on my family, friends, for support. Because after all, ---the most important thing I am, ..... is human.
The Ten Commandments
For Parents with Brain injured Children
- Take one day at a time, and take that day positively. You don't have control over the future, but you do have control over today.
- Never underestimate your child's potential. Allow him, encourage him, expect him to develop to the best of his abilities.
- Find and allow positive mentors: parents and professionals who can share with you their experience, advice, and support.
- Provide and be involved with the most appropriate educational and learning environments for your child from infancy on.
- Keep in mind the feelings and needs of your spouse and your other children. Remind them that this child does not get more of your love just because he gets more of your time.
- Answer only to your conscience: then you'll be able to answer to your child. You need not justify your actions to your friends or the public.
- Be honest with your feelings. You can't be a super-parent 24 hours a day. Allow yourself jealousy, anger, pity, frustration, and depression in small amounts whenever necessary.
- Be kind to yourself. Don't focus continually on what needs to be done. Remember to look at what you have accomplished.
- Stop and smell the roses. Take advantage of the fact that you have gained a special appreciation for the little miracles in life that others take for granted.
- Keep and use a sense of humor. Cracking up with laughter can keep you from cracking up from stress.
I AM A SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD
You often pity me, I see it in your eyes. You wonder
how much I am aware of .... I see that as well.
I am aware of much, whether you are happy or sad or
fearful, patient or impatient, full of love and
desire, or if you are just doing your duty by me.
I marvel at your frustration, knowing mine to be far
greater, for I cannot express myself or my needs as
You cannot conceive my isolation, so complete it is at
I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute
remarks to be laughed over and repeated.
I do not give you answers to your everyday questions,
responses over my well-being, sharing my needs, or
comments about the world around me.
I do not give you rewards as defined by the worlds
standards, or great strides in development that you
can credit yourself with .
I do not give you understanding as you know it; what I
give you is more valuable.
I give you instead opportunities.
Opportunities to discover the depth of your character,
not mine, the depth of your love, your commitment,
your patience, your abilities. The opportunity to
explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined
I drive you further than you would ever go on your
own, working harder, seeking answers to your many
questions with no answers.
I am your teacher.
If you allow me, I will teach you what is really
important in life.
I will give you and teach you unconditional love.
I gift you with my innocent trust, my dependency upon
Most of all I teach you hope and faith.
written by Elna Rudman
Selling price: R150-00
Trauma & tragedies were regular visitors to the Rudman family. These prompted Elna Rudman to write about the tsunamis following their path in the hope to help others cope. Family deaths by unnatural causes, stormy marriage in diplomatic circles, near-drowning, suicide, brain injury and a court case of many years are all ingredients supplying the book's name: "Living in the fast lane". Buy & Download here
All proceeds to go to Roald's trust for his ongoing care
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